Throw Yourself Away
by Fiery Charizard
Summary: All he wanted to do was have a bit of fun, too loosen up a little. Now Seto Kaiba is getting in over his head. Will Jou be able to save him from himself? Rated M for drug abuse, may go up in future chapters. Inspired by 'Old Enough' by Nickelback SetoxJou
1. Chapter 1 The Vault

FC: Hey! Welcome to the first fic I've written in a loooooooooooong time, nearly 3 years in fact! Please be warned it's rated high due to drugs and alcohol (in this chapter).

Enjoy!

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Throw Yourself Away

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All there was was noise. Loud, blaring noise. Music, singing, laughing, shouting all mixed into one loud buzz. The lights flickered on-off, on-off, flashing red, blue and yellow across the room, blinding white strobes lanced pain through eyes that looked directly into them. Bodies meshing together danced in a primeval stupor, the ancient art of saying hey, I want a fuck, how about it? It was ancient because it _worked_. The only constant through time that had survived, passing into the modern day through bars and clubs. The Vault was no different, the dance floor packed to black walls with bouncing, swaying bodies.

Plush, white leather sofas lined the edges of one black wall in a room offset from the dance floor, the quieter area by the bar that still maintained a decent view of the dancers. The bar was another mess of shuffling bodies, grouped together pushing forward, each vying for a closer space to the bar. Dim spotlights shone from the ceiling, blue LED lighting pouring from holes in the walls and floor. The ideal place to come and still remain in the shadow. Exactly what Seto Kaiba wanted.

Captivating blue eyes glowered in the dark, his face half covered in shadow as he flicked his attention between the bar pushers and the dancers. Long, elegant fingers grasped a not so sophisticated plastic glass half full of beer.

"I thought you said this place was decent."

"It is, you just aren't looking at it the right way" the youth next to him commented. Silvery bangs fell across his face, his feet propped on the table in front of him as he too watched the crowds, swirling a bottle in his right hand. "Why don't you," Bakura slipped his free hand into his jeans pocket, pulling out a small bag, holding it between two fingers, "go play with some of this and I'll go see if that pretty little barmaid will give us a free bottle of tequila."

"Oh, like you could get an entire bottle free jut by batting your eyelids" Seto took the packet, stuffing it into his jeans pockets, rising from his seat. He looked down when a hand grabbed his forearm.

"Watch me" Bakura whispered in his ear, sending a slight shiver through Seto. He stood and strode confidently towards the now less packed bar. Shaking his head, Seto downed the remainder of his pint and rose, walking towards the toilets.

A flash of red caught his eye, his gaze following, head turning over his shoulder. Behind a blonde walked around the corner towards the dance floor, playful hazel eyes glinting from beneath golden bangs back at Seto, a lightly seductive smile on his lips. Something within Seto stirred, creating a bubble inside him. He turned back round and continued towards the toilets, a smirk on his face. Seems Bakura had been right, it might well pick up in here.

Stepping into the toilets felt like stepping through a portal. The stench of urine and vomit washed over Seto, making him turn his nose up in disgust. He pushed through, past the lines of men standing (or in some case, leaning) beside the urinals, entering the nearest cubicle, sliding the bolt across behind him. He pulled the seat lid down, kneeling on it as he pulled the packet from his pocket. Opening it, he shook some of the powder out onto the black ledge behind, whipping out a card to even it out into a long thin line. He put the card back in his wallet, taking out a ten dollar note and rolling it into a thin tube. Leaning forward, Seto pressed a finger to his right nostril, stuck the note in the other put it to the line and sucked.

Everything exploded at once.

White scorched across his eyelids, blinding him for less than a second. The faint sounds of the music from the dance floor amplified so much it felt like he was in the speaker, vibrations shivering through his body, making every muscle tingle and contract, then loosen slowly.

Opening his eyes slowly, Seto found himself slumped down on the floor of the cubicle, giggling quietly. He sniffed and grinned to himself, jumping upright. God it was good to be alive! He flung the door open with a bang, striding out confidently, eyes glowing. He bypassed the sideward glances, who were they to judge? So what if he needed a bit extra to have a better night?

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Passing through the crowded bar, Seto found Bakura back on the seats they had left, grinning profusely as he jiggled a bottle of tequila before Seto. The brunette sat beside him, taking the proffered glass.

"I could've just brought a bottle."

"Yeah but that's nowhere near as fun" Bakura replied as he poured tequila into Seto's glass. "Feeling better?"

Downing the shot, Seto winced at the sharp kick of the drink. "Oh yes, now shut up and drink." Bakura laughed and followed suit, eyeing the dance floor hungrily. Seto took the bottle from him, bypassing the glass and started downing mouthfuls straight from it. He looked towards the dance floor with glazed eyes, huge pupils swallowing a lot of the blue iris. His gaze fell on the blonde from before. The teen was dancing amidst the crowd, soaked in the music around him. He glanced over his shoulder, grinning when he saw Seto looking at him. He bit his lip and turned away, dancing on. Seto watched, growling softly as he watched the boy move.

"Seen something you want?" Bakura inquired, grinning wickedly. Taking a final mouthful of the tequila , Seto passed the bottle back.

"Found a lonely puppy no one's playing with" he grinned and stood, heart racing. He walked towards the dance floor, Bakura calling after him, but he was no longer listening; there was only one thing he wanted right now. The blonde turned his head again, noticing Seto walking towards him, blue eyes glued to him. He turned around completely, extending his arms as if to welcome the brunette into a hug, but wiggled his fingers and started moving backwards, a suggestive look on his face. Seto frowned and continued forward slowly through the masses of dancers. The blonde kept moving backwards, changing his pace as the music changed. He turned his back on Seto, turning his interest to another guy on his right. He yelped, the noise unheard over the music, as a hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him backward. He bumped in the body behind him, grinning as he slowly began to grind his hips to the beat. Seto groaned and released his hold of the blonde's wrist, moving it to his slender hips instead. He moved in time with the blonde, a hand snaking up the side of his neck. He leaned his head down, nuzzling the side of the boy's head, breathing in the scent of his hair.

Seto spun the blonde round with a quick flick of his hands, his piercing eyes now locked onto the playful brown ones before him. He leaned in, hungry to taste the teen's mouth. The blonde scouted backwards, dancing out of his reach. Seto snarled with frustration, frowning as the teen laughed. He stalked forward, the blonde almost skipping backwards. He moved faster, unaware he was coming up to a wall. Seto raced forward, grabbing hold of the blonde and slamming him into the wall. The teen gasped for a second, the breath cut off as Seto captured his mouth with his own, kissing with fierce passion. He slid his tongue into the blonde's mouth, feeling the vibration as he moaned. Seto made to pull away, but a pair of hands reached up, grabbing his head and pulling him back in, fingers becoming entangled in his hair. He pushed hard again the blonde, bodies pressed together. Fuelled by the drugs and alcohol, he kissed with ferocious energy.

But it was too much.

He felt himself slipping, energy suddenly spent. The music muffled and the lights dimmed. He felt strong arms enclose around him as he slipped into the darkness.

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Good? Bad? Indifferent? Please review and let me know!


	2. Chapter 2 Where?

Apologies for this taking so long; I hit a real writing dry spell that I'm hoping to break!

**Chapter Two – Where?**

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"Scream out; are you having fun yet?" – How You Remind Me, Nickelback

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Peace… nothing but a floating sensation made his limbs feel like feathers caught on a light breeze. The strobes light had stopped and the music had died down to a faraway murmur, so quiet it was barely noticeable.

Pure bliss…

The first thing Seto noticed was the quiet that pounded on his eardrums. No shouting, no talking, no laughter and most poignant of all; no music. Why had it all stopped? Was the night over? He realised the darkness was self-inflicted, his eyes were closed. With more effort than it should've taken, the teen eased his heavy lids open, wincing and closing them again quickly as the sharp rays of light pierced his retinas, pain shooting through his temples. He didn't like that it felt like he'd never used his eyes before, it made him feel vulnerable, incapable somehow. He waited a few seconds and tried again, blinking bleary against the light.

A dim room awaited him, sunlight trying to enter through a pair of dark green curtains, lighting the edges of the window and the cream walls. Various posters of bands and movies flanked the window, glossy surfaces reflecting the minimal light entering the room. Now that he eyes were open, Seto realised he was lying down.

He shot upright, immediately wishing he hadn't, his head pounding and stars exploding in his vision. He clenched his eyes shut and held his head with one hand, fighting against the nausea building in his stomach. Easing his eyes open again, the brunette surveyed the room. He was lying in a double bed, the baby blue sheets twisted and strewn across the bed where he'd moved in his sleep. A wardrobe and chest of drawers stood side by side next to the bed, clothes scattered on the floor, along with various textbooks and pages of notes. A glass of water stood on a pine bedside table near to Seto's head, its contents untouched. He reached out for it now and gulped down the soothing liquid. He lowered the glass, the clothes on the desk chair beneath the window catching his eye. The black shirt lay neatly across the back of the wooden chair. Looking down confirmed it, the black shirt was his, his own bare chest pale in the dim light. A quick check under the covers revealed that he did still have his jeans on, though his belt had been removed.

And all this begged the question; where the hell was he?

Putting the glass back on the table, Seto sat and listened, trying to hear any movement. He heard nothing but the slight ringing in his ears left from the night before. He scrambled out of the bed, his legs feeling more like jelly than muscle. He lifted up a hand to smooth the hazel bangs he could feel were fluffed up in every direction. A slight edge of panic filled him and his hand darted into his jeans pocket. He almost sighed with relief when he felt the small bag still there. The bang of a door made him jump, accompanied by the sound of approaching footsteps. Blue eyes searching quickly across the jumbled mess of the bedroom, falling on the only thing he could loosely describe as a weapon. He grabbed the wooden desk chair, the clothes falling to the floor. He moved next to the door and raised the chair to chest height, listening as the footsteps got closer. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the wall opposite. His face was pale and tight, dark circles lined under bright cerulean eyes. The footsteps stopped, a soft knocking, barely audible, sounded on the door before it opened slowly. Seto leapt forward, raising the chair about to strike, a surprised yelp coming from the figure in the doorway.

He faltered when he found himself face to face with the blonde from the night before, a bewildered look on his soft face, his hands raised defensively. He was loosely dress in casual blue jeans and a green hooded sweatshirt, blonde hair flopping over his eyes. Large, liquid chocolate eyes, which reminded Seto of a spaniel who had been caught playing with someone else's ball.

"Take it easy, I just came to check you were ok." The boy's voice was calm with a slight nervous tinge on the ends of his words.

"Where the fuck am I?"

"You're safe, this is my house. Look just put the chair down and we can talk about this" the blonde insisted, lowering his hands slowly, although Seto could see the muscle in his arms and shoulders were still tense, almost expecting him to swing anyway. He lowered the chair, placing it back on the floor, the teen visibly relaxing as he did so. Seto stalked back over to where the clothes had fallen on the floor, his movements feeling lumbered and sluggish. He bent and scooped up his shirt, ignoring the creases deeply lining what was previously crisp and pristine. He clumsily slipped his arms in the sleeves, fumbling with the buttons as he marched back to the door, barging past the blonde. "Hey…are you gonna explain to me what happened to you last night?" He didn't turn, just kept moving down the stairs, almost hop-skipping down them in his hurry.

"I don't know what happened."

"What did you take?" Seto stopped on the last step, fingers still clutching his buttons. He glanced around at the blonde, his eyes ice hard.

"What makes you think I took anything puppy?" he curled his lip contemptuously. The blonde frowned, a deep line furrowing between his eyebrows.

"Jounochi."

"What?"

"That's my name. Jounochi. Not 'puppy'." The frown faltered, smoothing out until his mouth was set in a tight line. Seto gave a slow half grin, though his eyes stayed hard, making the look just short of unpleasant.

"Well thanks for the bed, but I really have to go." And with that he was out the door, leaving Jou where he stood, failing to see the disappointment left in the spaniel eyes.

The encounter left Seto with more questions than he had before. What had happened at the Vault? The last thing he could remember was kissing and dancing with Jou. Why hadn't he made it home? Had he and Jou…?

He shook his head. It didn't matter; he'd got what he wanted, a decent night out. At least, he assumed he did. He descended several flights of stairs, emerging into a sunlit street, bathed in shadows. He was on a quiet back road, possibly somewhere downtown, but he had no idea where. The wall opposite was covered in peeling gig flyers of varying colours, slightly newer ones plastered over old weather beaten ones. The building he had stepped out of was a vile grey monstrosity, pimpled walls that gave the whole thing a look of badly treated skin. The dull windows made it look tired, like it had stood still for too long and now just wanted to collapse. Seto could empathise.

Rummaging around in his jeans pocket he found his phone, hitting his speed dial with an impatient flick of his thumb. It barely even had time to ring before it was picked up.

"Kaiba-sama-"

"Isono, follow my phone GPS and bring a car round" Seto ordered, ending the call abruptly. He leant back against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. With each throb of his pounding head the image of the dejected looking Jou flashed in his mind's eye. He snapped his eyes open, pushing away from the wall as he strode off down the street. He'd be damned if he was going to feel guilty for using Jou. As he walked, he was unaware of the hazel eyes that followed him from the window above, intrigue and concern flickering in them, mixing with a distinct feeling of lust.

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Any feedback is always appreciated =) I hope to get the next chapter out fairly soon!


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